StreSS

Things have been pretty crazy around here lately! I have not had much time to blog, but will try to get something tonight.

For starters, our power has been completely unreliable, which makes having internet or a charged computer very hard!
A couple of days ago, Kendall and I were told at 9 am, that we needed to move out of our room by that same afternoon...So we now have all our stuff horribly crammed into boxes and suitcases and have had to invade the other girls room. Its a mess!
And Canaan is hosting a fair in 2 days...a fair which has COMPLETELY 100% been left until the last min. This fair is for any business or mission in Haiti to come set up a booth and share what they are doing here in Haiti. In an effort to maybe bring us all together, so we can help each other out. I hope that God is with us all, because its down to the wire and there is SO much to be done. SO SO SO much. Just like everything else around here, it is all left until the last second! The fair is supposed to start on April 1 and last through the 10th. So just praying it will all come together!
To add to the stress, school is out because of the fair...for two weeks. Which of course the kids are happy about, and yes it is nice to have a break as a teacher. However, we just went through some pretty big changes, getting a new principal and a whole new set of rules. Just as things are kind of starting to settle in, they have a 2 week break. When they come back from their break, I will be back in the states for my 3 week break...There are many kids that will just stop working in their Math while I am away, and I really don't want that. They are far enough behind as it is...
Then to top all of it off, the kids are trying to get ready for ACE convention. It is a convention held in the states, for schools that participate in the Accelerated Christian Education program. So the kids here have to submit art work, or participate in sports competitions, or singing, or photograpy, the list goes on and on. They enter their talents into this show and ulitmately try to win. Well this is yet another task which has been left until the last second. Convention is May 21. The kids should have probably been prepared and ready in the fall, but here we are...still don't know exactly who is eligible, don't have any passports, don't have outfits for them to wear, or a song for the them to sing, or a way of getting there, or a place to stay....I could probably keep going. But you get the idea.
I procrastinate with a lot of things, but this is all on a whole different level. There is just lingering stress everywhere in Canaan. From the day to day life things, such as water and electricity. And then trying to keep up with 60 some odd children and their futures. It's hard to explain it all, but I am pretty stressed. My vacay home can't come fast enough!
I absolutely love it here, but it is a lot to take in and a lot to deal with each day. I am hoping my break will refresh me!


By the way, the baby boy in my last blog, died last Friday. Pray for his poor grandmother, who was doing everything she could!

Pray

For anyone who reads my blog, please pray for this little boy
He is severly malnourished.
They sent him to the hospital today, hopefully they can get a handle on things.

Not Surprising

It's harder to write, when not much changes day to day.
I think I am just getting so used to this crazy life.
At first I was so shocked everyday and did not think I would ever get used to this life.
Well, shocked now that not much shocks me anymore.

Walked into class and a lizard fell on my head
Paid at the store for a few things and got chiclets back as my change
Almost wrecked on the way to Gonaives because of a cow crossing the road
Almost wrecked on the way home from Gonaives because of a goat crossing the road
We are not allowed to go to certain towns because it is dangerous
The menu at the stop over, chicken, fish or goat...
My room has a rat zapper, three rat traps and rat posion
The other dorm of missionary girls have tadpoles in their shower water
Most Haitian kids know two things in English, Good morning and Give me one dollar

None of this really seems odd to me anymore....

Unless you get to leave Canann, each day really seems the same as the next. It can be very trapping at times, It is very hard to not have a car and to be able to just go anywhere. Not that there is really anywhere to go, but sometimes it just gets frustrating.
Elections are coming up March 20th which means even less traveling anywhere. Please pray that everyone stays safe and there are not crazy riots.

"while you're sitting around thinking about what you can't change and worrying about all the wrong things...time's flying by, moving so fast, you better make it count cause you can't get it back"

A Beautiful Mess

A normal start to a day at Canaan...

5:00 up for prayer, then back to sleep

6:30 hitting my snooze

6:40 hitting snooze again
6:50 out of bed
7:00ish at the breakfast table
7:30 Singing and Prayer with the teachers before school
8:00 School starts
10:00 break
12:00 lunch
3:00 School is out
3:45 Hike
5:30 Dinner

After dinner, tutoring or bible study, or just chill time.

Today however, around break time in school, I got a message from Teri saying, Sister Gladys "demanded" I go to Port. Demanding in a good way. SG was supposed to take Cassie into port to meet up with some of her friends for the weekend, but she kind of forgot. So she decided that Cassie, Naomi, Kendall and I all go to Port, have lunch and just get away for a "relaxing" afternoon. Port is anything but relaxing...It's not a stress I technically feel at the time, but after all is said and done, my body and mind is overly exhausted.

So Johnny, one of the workers at Canaan, drove us to Port along with some of the staff that normally takes a tap-tap to Port for the weekends to visit family and such.

Before we even started the car, we prayed…for a safe trip to port and back home. It’s amazing how much you really do need to pray around here. I guess the same goes for anywhere, anytime, but here it just seems different. God surrounds our lives; we HAVE to rely on him to get through the day. Back home I had everything I “wanted” and never had to ask God for a thing. Now we pray before we even start the car….

About 30 min in we come across this

…And it wasn't the last wreck of the day, we saw at least 4. I know wrecks happen all the time, but here it is so much different. Trucks and motorcycles are speeding at over 100 MPH pretty much everywhere, with no driving laws, no lines on the road, pretty much no road in most places...

People rarely live through accidents here…In this case a large truck had blown a tire and the bus coming over the hill just smashed right into it, and I am sure it was going a ridiculous speed.  I have also never seen so many blown tires as I have here in Haiti. The roads are just terrible and the cars aren’t much better. As we pass, we pray again…I can’t fully explain the exhaustion of today. But mentally it is unlike anything I have experienced. You couldn’t pay me any amount of money to try and drive in Haiti. It is something that only certain people would be able to handle, not me. Honking is a CONSTANT and well, anything can happen, and will.

We make it safely into Port. I have only just barely seen the surface of Port au Prince; today I went a little deeper. We went further into the city than I had ever been, and I saw new, tragic and wonderful things. These people just amaze me, the lives they live every day, always with a smile on their face. Devastation surrounding them at all times, one hit after another, Hurricane in 2006, Earthquake in 2010, and now Cholera. They are reminded every day of the loved ones they have lost and it seems the pain just keeps going.

The UN is a VERY known presence in Haiti. They are here to show face and just “scare” the people. As far as I know they have no real significant reason of being here, except to show “authority” to try and keep the peace. The UN helicopters are constantly flying around and SO loud. They drive their tanks around and walk around with their guns, looking ready to shoot anyone at any moment, and sadly they will with no qualms. FACT cholera was brought to Haiti by a member of the UN….how’s that for peace keeping.  Over 2,000 have died of Cholera….

As we drive deeper into Port, I now am seeing some of the destruction from the earthquake, a year later…

We meet Sister Gladys and Pastor Henry at Epidor for lunch. Yet another pull of exhaustion. We order and lost in translation, don’t get all the correct food. I was definitely not happy, in fact very mad at first. I have a day to get away and get some “normal” food and I can’t even get that? Then I look outside and I see the young boys, carrying around a cloth, trying to offer to wipe off cars as they are stopped in traffic, just for some money, or anything at all. And I stop myself from being angry, and realize I need to be grateful for any food at all. By this point, I’m not even hungry anymore. Just frustrated…
Frustrated with all my surroundings… Sad and broken hearted for all the people I see. It’s not like walking down the streets in America and seeing a couple of homeless people and feeling a little sad, but not sure of their misfortunes and maybe giving them a couple dollars, or maybe just walking past.
It’s like walking around, absolutely immersed in homelessness and helplessness and so overwhelmed, having Pastor Henry say, “Eat lunch at Epidor, have some ice cream and RELAX” Eating ice cream is almost torture. Eating in general is hard. What can you do…all we can do is pray. I pray for those little children starving, and it really literally hurt to have to eat that ice cream, but he was trying to treat us, and it meant so much.  Our order being messed up left us with two extra burgers, so when we left, as we were stuck in traffic, the boys came to try and wash our car, we said no as usual, but rolled down the window and handed them each a burger. Two little boys got to enjoy burgers today. Who knows if they have food or not, or parents, or a home, but I do know they got to eat something today. It’s impossible to look at everyone and try to imagine a change, but even just helping one, at least it’s something. This is life, this is Haiti…

Prayer

Pastor Henry has asked Kendall and I to pray for Haiti. To pray for this nation and pray for these people. Same time every day, morning and night for 7 days. We are not sure why he asked us, but we know there is a reason we have been asked to do this. We were just sitting at the table the other day and he randomly said, "Haiti needs two girls to pray for its country, will you do it" of course we said yes. Pastor Henry has great insight and I think he sees we are both struggling with our faith, not spending time every day and it is slowly taking a toll, mentally and physically. This country can wear you down, the things you see on a daily basis can bring you to tears all the time. It hurts your heart and your soul all the time if you let it. I know personally I need to spend more time praying to get through each day. Every night when I lay down I am so overly exhausted, I just leave no time for prayer. So with what PH has asked us, I hope we can come out stronger and can wake up each day happier.
This is carnival time in Haiti. I don't quite understand it all, but I know a lot of it invloves Voodoo and it is scary for many people around here. The biggest celebration is in Port au Prince and when asked how they would be able to pull it off this year with all the tents, this is the response...
" This will be a great opportunity to move those individuals in those tents who refuse to relocate, the Government has built temporary housing for those individuals...they are still empty, they refuse to move,  because they like it where they are right now...the tents on the Champ de Mars is not a matter of necessity anymore, but a want for the people living there...every night they are having block parties, some women and pimps have even used many of the tents as brothels for their prostitution businesses...I think it will be the perfect opportunity to use the Carnival to convince them to relocate to the temporary houses...the same way they've moved from the Stadium (Stade Sylvio Cator) because the Soccer Championship had to start..."
It is sad that this is the reality of Haiti, many people are very strong and faith, but just as many practice voodoo and are runing brothels out of tents...So as we pray for this country, I ask you all to pray aswell. Many people don't agree that these people deserve help, but I know God has sent me here for a reason, and even if i just touch the life of one of these children, that is more than enough. No matter your feelings I ask you to open your heart and prayers for this country and these people in depair.

This is Haiti

Things I REALLY miss…

-ICE
-Air-conditioning
-Electricity
-Guaranteed running water
-Sleeping without a mosquito net
-Cell phone
-The English language
-Not being stared at because I am white
-Paying for things without having to go through the hassle of bargaining
-My bed
-Internet that works
-Cold drinking water
-Television
-Washing Machine & Dryer

Things you just have to get used to in Haiti

-Running out of water quite often
-Sweating most of the time
-Taking VERY cold showers
-Being a minority
-Not understanding a word anyone is saying around you
-Random Cows, Goats and Donkeys pretty much everywhere
-Sleeping in a mosquito net
-Always smelling like bug spray
-Constant dogs barking
-Not being able to sleep in even if you have a day off
-Spider webs and spiders everywhere
-Rats in your room at night
-Eating lots of rice
-Hand washing clothes & hanging them out to dry
-People walking up the mountain carrying large buckets and such on their heads and never breaking a sweat
-Men carrying machetes
-Walking into a store and the “guard” up front has a massive gun 
The list goes on and on….TIH

Port...

--Traffic in Port

--Tents near airport

Today was my first trip to Port-au-Prince during the daytime….

When I flew into Port it was already dark so I did not get to see much of it. It was just as shocking as I figured it would be. It is almost 2 hours away from Canaan. If I thought traffic was bad in general around Haiti, Port tops it all. When you first get into the city, it is a fight to be able to turn left onto any road. You really just have to pull out in front of people, which was kind of scary being in the passenger seat. There literally were hundreds of endless tents set up alllll over the city. Everywhere you looked it was just solid tents. People set up in the port because they knew they would be closest to the aid coming in from the airport. It is a year later and really does not seem like much progress, if any. The rubble is still all over. Some of the people here told me there is at least 80% of the rubble still just laying there. Just on the outskirts of Port we passed a mass grave site. There was a huge area of land next to the mountain where they dumped hundreds of bodies after the earthquake, with tiny crosses all over. It was really sad. It seems as though these people are just content living in these tents, many don’t have any other option at this point. The tents more on the outskirts looked as though they were making them more permanent homes. It amazes me how bad off these people have it. But it is very hard to find anyone without a smile on their face. And most of their daily lives are surrounded by worship and God. I fully believe the only reason most of these people are still alive is because of God and the faith they have. There is no earthly reason why some of these starving people should be surviving, but by the grace of God.
We have a missionary visiting this week. He has traveled all over the world, and he said today in his sermon, this is by far the most spiritual place he has ever been, and the children here are something he has never seen. It really is an act of God. Being surrounded by such grateful people who have absolutely nothing, except God has been such a rewarding experience. Whether I teach these children anything, they have definitely taught me something I could have learned nowhere else. I hope to bring a piece of this love back home with me.

--Mass gravesite

--Tents