A Beautiful Mess

A normal start to a day at Canaan...

5:00 up for prayer, then back to sleep

6:30 hitting my snooze

6:40 hitting snooze again
6:50 out of bed
7:00ish at the breakfast table
7:30 Singing and Prayer with the teachers before school
8:00 School starts
10:00 break
12:00 lunch
3:00 School is out
3:45 Hike
5:30 Dinner

After dinner, tutoring or bible study, or just chill time.

Today however, around break time in school, I got a message from Teri saying, Sister Gladys "demanded" I go to Port. Demanding in a good way. SG was supposed to take Cassie into port to meet up with some of her friends for the weekend, but she kind of forgot. So she decided that Cassie, Naomi, Kendall and I all go to Port, have lunch and just get away for a "relaxing" afternoon. Port is anything but relaxing...It's not a stress I technically feel at the time, but after all is said and done, my body and mind is overly exhausted.

So Johnny, one of the workers at Canaan, drove us to Port along with some of the staff that normally takes a tap-tap to Port for the weekends to visit family and such.

Before we even started the car, we prayed…for a safe trip to port and back home. It’s amazing how much you really do need to pray around here. I guess the same goes for anywhere, anytime, but here it just seems different. God surrounds our lives; we HAVE to rely on him to get through the day. Back home I had everything I “wanted” and never had to ask God for a thing. Now we pray before we even start the car….

About 30 min in we come across this

…And it wasn't the last wreck of the day, we saw at least 4. I know wrecks happen all the time, but here it is so much different. Trucks and motorcycles are speeding at over 100 MPH pretty much everywhere, with no driving laws, no lines on the road, pretty much no road in most places...

People rarely live through accidents here…In this case a large truck had blown a tire and the bus coming over the hill just smashed right into it, and I am sure it was going a ridiculous speed.  I have also never seen so many blown tires as I have here in Haiti. The roads are just terrible and the cars aren’t much better. As we pass, we pray again…I can’t fully explain the exhaustion of today. But mentally it is unlike anything I have experienced. You couldn’t pay me any amount of money to try and drive in Haiti. It is something that only certain people would be able to handle, not me. Honking is a CONSTANT and well, anything can happen, and will.

We make it safely into Port. I have only just barely seen the surface of Port au Prince; today I went a little deeper. We went further into the city than I had ever been, and I saw new, tragic and wonderful things. These people just amaze me, the lives they live every day, always with a smile on their face. Devastation surrounding them at all times, one hit after another, Hurricane in 2006, Earthquake in 2010, and now Cholera. They are reminded every day of the loved ones they have lost and it seems the pain just keeps going.

The UN is a VERY known presence in Haiti. They are here to show face and just “scare” the people. As far as I know they have no real significant reason of being here, except to show “authority” to try and keep the peace. The UN helicopters are constantly flying around and SO loud. They drive their tanks around and walk around with their guns, looking ready to shoot anyone at any moment, and sadly they will with no qualms. FACT cholera was brought to Haiti by a member of the UN….how’s that for peace keeping.  Over 2,000 have died of Cholera….

As we drive deeper into Port, I now am seeing some of the destruction from the earthquake, a year later…

We meet Sister Gladys and Pastor Henry at Epidor for lunch. Yet another pull of exhaustion. We order and lost in translation, don’t get all the correct food. I was definitely not happy, in fact very mad at first. I have a day to get away and get some “normal” food and I can’t even get that? Then I look outside and I see the young boys, carrying around a cloth, trying to offer to wipe off cars as they are stopped in traffic, just for some money, or anything at all. And I stop myself from being angry, and realize I need to be grateful for any food at all. By this point, I’m not even hungry anymore. Just frustrated…
Frustrated with all my surroundings… Sad and broken hearted for all the people I see. It’s not like walking down the streets in America and seeing a couple of homeless people and feeling a little sad, but not sure of their misfortunes and maybe giving them a couple dollars, or maybe just walking past.
It’s like walking around, absolutely immersed in homelessness and helplessness and so overwhelmed, having Pastor Henry say, “Eat lunch at Epidor, have some ice cream and RELAX” Eating ice cream is almost torture. Eating in general is hard. What can you do…all we can do is pray. I pray for those little children starving, and it really literally hurt to have to eat that ice cream, but he was trying to treat us, and it meant so much.  Our order being messed up left us with two extra burgers, so when we left, as we were stuck in traffic, the boys came to try and wash our car, we said no as usual, but rolled down the window and handed them each a burger. Two little boys got to enjoy burgers today. Who knows if they have food or not, or parents, or a home, but I do know they got to eat something today. It’s impossible to look at everyone and try to imagine a change, but even just helping one, at least it’s something. This is life, this is Haiti…