Time to Process

Thank you to everyone who is praying for us at Canaan. Having today off, can’t decide if it has been a good thing, or a bad thing. I guess we keep ourselves so busy we don’t have much time to sit and think about everything that is happening around us. However, today we had that time. Sister Gladys finally had a day to process everything and talk with everyone. She met with the Haitian staff members this morning. Amongst all the evils and separation, yet another problem is between the Haitian staff and the American staff. For me personally, I can’t speak the language, so I am not trying to be rude. It is just very hard to communicate. However as a whole, they feel that the missionaries are being rude by not communicating. They brought this issue up to Sister Gladys, and said they are not going to care about us, if we refuse to care about them. Clearly that did not go over so well.
We have been going down to beach in the evenings a lot lately to try and escape all this stress. With Sister Gladys being away, we have not really communicated where we were going, or when we would get back. So this afternoon, we also got a firm talking to. A three and half hour conversation with Sister Gladys. It amazes me how much that woman knows. I have yet to sit and have a one on one conversation with her, yet she knows so many details about my life, and about who I am. God truly speaks through this woman. I can not fully explain, but she just knows. She knows everything. So far every time she has spoken to us, I have cried.
Amongst all this chaos, and even though she was a little frustrated with us, her words touched my heart.
I am feeling more at peace, but things around here are still not so great.
Right now she is speaking to the Haitian staff again. Earlier, she gave them an ultimatum. Shape up or leave. Some staff may be leaving us tonight. So I ask that you just pray for those people. I don’t know all the reasons, or details of this situation. I do know, we are short staffed as it is, so these next few weeks may be rough.
Convention….
As of now, last I heard, our kids will not be making it. There is not enough room on the flights. Check in is Saturday, or Sunday for a 25$ late fee per child. Even if they make it to Miami they still have to make the drive to Virginia. It’s not looking so great. We prayed a lot about it with Sister Gladys and she feels like this was all meant to happen. I believe the same. She feels that she needs to be here at Canaan through this rough time. She was thinking another option would be to take them next week, just for the end of convention, so they could see everyone’s work, and the award ceremony. Maybe get them to work harder for next year. And then spend a week traveling around. Who knows what will happen. It is all in God’s hands. All we can do is pray. Pray for these children, because they are going to be so devastated. Just pray that something good can come out of all of this craziness.

Prayer

How to sum up Canaan at the moment...things here are not so great. This place is always busy and always crazy. But lately there has just been more evil than usual. No one can explain it, or point out any certain causes. The spiritual warfare is at its worst. Spirts are low and stress is high.
Pastor Henry has been away for over a month now, in the states. Sister Gladys is here very little and has a ridiculous amount going on. She came back from the states on Sunday and has yet to really sleep. She is losing her voice and really I just do not know how this lady does it all.
They are trying to get some of the kids to Convention, for school, in the states. Getting them out of the country has been the most consuming and ridiculous thing I have ever seen. International Convention happens once a year, where kids from all over that are involved in the A.C.E program, can come together and compete in different competitions; sports, games, writing, etc. Canaan kids look forward to it every year, it's a chance for them to go to the states, and just a fun time to get away. However, things in Haiti and Canaan never go as planned.
Flights were bought for tomorrow. At this point, no one is leaving tomorrow. No visas have been granted yet. This has been such a long process, and they keep sending everyone in circles. One of the older girls is graduating, and her graduation is in Tennessee. She has been so excited and getting all the final things done. Today, they denied her. The Embassy said they did not think she had clear plans for while she was in the States. She still doesn't know. At this moment she is taking one of her last tests. It's heartbreaking.
To make things even better, tomorrow is flag day, a national holiday, everything in Haiti is shut down. The earliest the kids will be able to get Visas is Thursday. They are supposed to fly into Miami and drive to Virginia. Convention starts Saturday. The airline they are flying with has one flight a day. Not even sure if we do get the Visas, that there will be room on the flights. We still have no idea who is actually going to be able to leave, and these poor kids are packed and ready to go. No one has broken the news to them yet, no one knows what to say. No one knows if they will even make it at all.

Beyond the Convention...
Caroline was planning on leaving in a couple of weeks to take a baby to the states who needed surgery. The baby has no anus and going to the states to have surgery was actually an easy fix. It was just a matter of getting her there. Monday morning, the mother came to the clinic. There is no straight story, but the baby passed away on Thrusday. The family thinks it was witch craft, clearly that is not the case. The mother showed up saying she does not remember anything since Thrusday evening, when it all happened. She had been wandering around for almost 4 days. This has also put bad air over Canaan. Things were all set up for this little girl to fly to the states. I know God has a plan, and this baby is no longer suffering. It has been especially hard on Caroline, because she was so excited to take her back and help this little girl.

Some teachers in the school also have things going on. No one has voiced what exactly, but things have been different. The air is bad, tension is everywhere you turn. The missionaries have started to seperate, we have not had time for our weekly meeting. We're all on different schedules.
Elsie is supposed to be leaving in the morning for Costa Rica, but the president is supposed to be speaking in a town near Port, so she needs to leave really early to avoid crazy traffic. Things like this just don't happen in the states. It's such random chaos all the time.

There are also tadpoles in our shower. There were frogs in our water tank, that apparently laid eggs, (this is not the first time) and now we shower with tadpoles raining down on us. Fabulous.
Also, our amazing cook Sister Rose, has decided to leave. I think she is just burnt out. Spending all day in the kitchen by herself. They really need two cooks to have shifts, because the poor lady does not get to have a life. We do what we can to give her days off, but when groups come, its just so hard.

I feel like I am just complaining, but really I just don't even know what to do at this point.
Sister Gladys sat down with us last week and had a conversation with all the missionaries. I remember he specifically saying, bad things are happening at Cannan, please just pray. Bad things are happening, we may not see them, but we all feel them. It is tense all the time. If we don't start to really pray, I fear for what might come. Life here is hard enough, all of this added....
We all just need prayer. The missionaries, Pastor Henry, Sister Gladys, the children, the workers, all of Haiti. Please just pray for things here....

A day in the life...

Finally back to Haiti! I have missed this place SOOO much! I knew I missed it, but did not realize how much, until I got to see all the beautiful faces of these children! I left Canaan in the middle of their fair. It was an absolutely crazy time, and I was looking forward to coming back to a somewhat more peaceful place, as peaceful as Canaan can get. Oh was I wrong!
I came back in time for school training. They are putting the teachers through the official training course, I believe they do it once a year. I changed my flight so that I could make it here in time for this course. What a surprise I was in for.

My trip started at 430 am on Sunday, leaving Tennessee. I arrived at 11 am in Haiti and was SUPER excited to take a nap. Wrong. There was someone else arriving at 330, so we had to hang out in Port until she arrived. Devastation. Also actually brought back Chick-fil-a for dear Caroline, who might be slightly obsessed with the place. I was totally counting on her picking me up from the airport....wrong again. Sad day, however, the food did make it safe and sound back to her, it was kinda like Christmas haha. So hung out in Port for about four hours, sat in the car with the windows down in the blazing hot sun...WELCOME BACK! It was all worth it though when finally around 6 pm I arrived at Canaan! I missed these kids more than anything!!!
Kendall and I were hoping to get our old room back. Still wrong. I totally do not mind where I am living now though, but the first night was rough! Cassie and a visiting girl were already in our room, so Kendall and I had to sleep on the top bunk....zero fun. Thankfully I was totally exhausted from my day, but I am not a fan of the top bunk. The rats are really loud on our roof and I thought they were just going to come through the ceiling and on my face...Things are settled now and we are both on the bottom bunk thankfully!

So day two begins...we are supposed to be at breakfast at 7 and training at 745. So bright and early after a pretty rough nights sleep, I show up to breakfast...745 rolls around and still no breakfast. Luckily no one could start until we all ate, so it all worked out. So we get to training around 845. We sit in Naomis office until about 1030, I have to remember I am on Haitian time now...always a few hours behind schedule!

So this training class, it has turned Canaan upside down. I thought the fair was rough, this is a whole other evil. This school training has put me as the student...its really not fun. We are treated and expected to act as the children should. Which wouldnt be as bad, except two of the students are helping out. So here I am sitting at my desk asking "my" students if I am allowed to go use the restroom....quite the experience. The first day really felt like a total slap in the face, and I was not the least bit impressed. I was actually quite angry, and it definetly showed. I did not mean to act this way, it was just very hard to be put in that position. To make things even more difficult, our eating schedule was turned all upside down. Since all of the missionaries have our own work throughout the day, mealtimes are when we get to relax and talk about things. I assumed after my first morning in "class" I would be able to vent a little at lunch and ask for some prayer...andddd wrong! Sister Gladys told Cassie and I we were no longer missionaries this week, we were "students" and we were to act like the students all week. This was not helping my frustration. So here's the thing about Haitains. They eat their big meal "dinner" at lunch time. Guess how we are having meals this week, biggg meal at lunch. Fried chicken, rice, plantains, beans, sauce. Great meal, but weird for lunch. Dinner time and its Labouyi, kind of a sweet plantain mush. Not bad, but weird for dinner. This is how they eat around here. Usually all the missionaries sit around eating such great meals for dinner, while everyone else eats this. So its been quite the humbling experience. Breakfast today, spaghetti. Thank goodness I was late and didn't get any, God knew I wouldn't be able to stomach it. Spaghetti and 7 in the morning, not happening. Lunch was rice and meat and beans, the usual. Then there was dinner. It has been the most interesting so far. Bread, butter, cake and hot chocolate...Quite the combination. Mind you this hot chocolate was the BEST I have EVER had! However its about 95 degrees outside, and probably even hotter than that in the cafe with its tin roof. Hot Chocolate...in Haiti, rough!
On to the good news though. I finished all my work today before lunch, and am mostly free from sitting in the boiling hot classroom all day! I still have a few group activites to work throughout the week, but finished 5 PACEs in a day in a half...my kids totally have NO excuses anymore! I took five tests, wrote a report and memorized my bible verse and also read it backwards woot woot. Which gives me E privledge, meaning I would not have to ask permission every time I needed to score, or use the restroom, etc. Doesn't matter much since I am finished. However happy to say I was the first to complete the course and the first to recieve the privledge :o). Wish I had been such an overachiever in High School or College!!
Three days in, rough at times, but This is Haiti! Beyond happy to be back. We will see where this week takes me!

StreSS

Things have been pretty crazy around here lately! I have not had much time to blog, but will try to get something tonight.

For starters, our power has been completely unreliable, which makes having internet or a charged computer very hard!
A couple of days ago, Kendall and I were told at 9 am, that we needed to move out of our room by that same afternoon...So we now have all our stuff horribly crammed into boxes and suitcases and have had to invade the other girls room. Its a mess!
And Canaan is hosting a fair in 2 days...a fair which has COMPLETELY 100% been left until the last min. This fair is for any business or mission in Haiti to come set up a booth and share what they are doing here in Haiti. In an effort to maybe bring us all together, so we can help each other out. I hope that God is with us all, because its down to the wire and there is SO much to be done. SO SO SO much. Just like everything else around here, it is all left until the last second! The fair is supposed to start on April 1 and last through the 10th. So just praying it will all come together!
To add to the stress, school is out because of the fair...for two weeks. Which of course the kids are happy about, and yes it is nice to have a break as a teacher. However, we just went through some pretty big changes, getting a new principal and a whole new set of rules. Just as things are kind of starting to settle in, they have a 2 week break. When they come back from their break, I will be back in the states for my 3 week break...There are many kids that will just stop working in their Math while I am away, and I really don't want that. They are far enough behind as it is...
Then to top all of it off, the kids are trying to get ready for ACE convention. It is a convention held in the states, for schools that participate in the Accelerated Christian Education program. So the kids here have to submit art work, or participate in sports competitions, or singing, or photograpy, the list goes on and on. They enter their talents into this show and ulitmately try to win. Well this is yet another task which has been left until the last second. Convention is May 21. The kids should have probably been prepared and ready in the fall, but here we are...still don't know exactly who is eligible, don't have any passports, don't have outfits for them to wear, or a song for the them to sing, or a way of getting there, or a place to stay....I could probably keep going. But you get the idea.
I procrastinate with a lot of things, but this is all on a whole different level. There is just lingering stress everywhere in Canaan. From the day to day life things, such as water and electricity. And then trying to keep up with 60 some odd children and their futures. It's hard to explain it all, but I am pretty stressed. My vacay home can't come fast enough!
I absolutely love it here, but it is a lot to take in and a lot to deal with each day. I am hoping my break will refresh me!


By the way, the baby boy in my last blog, died last Friday. Pray for his poor grandmother, who was doing everything she could!

Pray

For anyone who reads my blog, please pray for this little boy
He is severly malnourished.
They sent him to the hospital today, hopefully they can get a handle on things.

Not Surprising

It's harder to write, when not much changes day to day.
I think I am just getting so used to this crazy life.
At first I was so shocked everyday and did not think I would ever get used to this life.
Well, shocked now that not much shocks me anymore.

Walked into class and a lizard fell on my head
Paid at the store for a few things and got chiclets back as my change
Almost wrecked on the way to Gonaives because of a cow crossing the road
Almost wrecked on the way home from Gonaives because of a goat crossing the road
We are not allowed to go to certain towns because it is dangerous
The menu at the stop over, chicken, fish or goat...
My room has a rat zapper, three rat traps and rat posion
The other dorm of missionary girls have tadpoles in their shower water
Most Haitian kids know two things in English, Good morning and Give me one dollar

None of this really seems odd to me anymore....

Unless you get to leave Canann, each day really seems the same as the next. It can be very trapping at times, It is very hard to not have a car and to be able to just go anywhere. Not that there is really anywhere to go, but sometimes it just gets frustrating.
Elections are coming up March 20th which means even less traveling anywhere. Please pray that everyone stays safe and there are not crazy riots.

"while you're sitting around thinking about what you can't change and worrying about all the wrong things...time's flying by, moving so fast, you better make it count cause you can't get it back"

A Beautiful Mess

A normal start to a day at Canaan...

5:00 up for prayer, then back to sleep

6:30 hitting my snooze

6:40 hitting snooze again
6:50 out of bed
7:00ish at the breakfast table
7:30 Singing and Prayer with the teachers before school
8:00 School starts
10:00 break
12:00 lunch
3:00 School is out
3:45 Hike
5:30 Dinner

After dinner, tutoring or bible study, or just chill time.

Today however, around break time in school, I got a message from Teri saying, Sister Gladys "demanded" I go to Port. Demanding in a good way. SG was supposed to take Cassie into port to meet up with some of her friends for the weekend, but she kind of forgot. So she decided that Cassie, Naomi, Kendall and I all go to Port, have lunch and just get away for a "relaxing" afternoon. Port is anything but relaxing...It's not a stress I technically feel at the time, but after all is said and done, my body and mind is overly exhausted.

So Johnny, one of the workers at Canaan, drove us to Port along with some of the staff that normally takes a tap-tap to Port for the weekends to visit family and such.

Before we even started the car, we prayed…for a safe trip to port and back home. It’s amazing how much you really do need to pray around here. I guess the same goes for anywhere, anytime, but here it just seems different. God surrounds our lives; we HAVE to rely on him to get through the day. Back home I had everything I “wanted” and never had to ask God for a thing. Now we pray before we even start the car….

About 30 min in we come across this

…And it wasn't the last wreck of the day, we saw at least 4. I know wrecks happen all the time, but here it is so much different. Trucks and motorcycles are speeding at over 100 MPH pretty much everywhere, with no driving laws, no lines on the road, pretty much no road in most places...

People rarely live through accidents here…In this case a large truck had blown a tire and the bus coming over the hill just smashed right into it, and I am sure it was going a ridiculous speed.  I have also never seen so many blown tires as I have here in Haiti. The roads are just terrible and the cars aren’t much better. As we pass, we pray again…I can’t fully explain the exhaustion of today. But mentally it is unlike anything I have experienced. You couldn’t pay me any amount of money to try and drive in Haiti. It is something that only certain people would be able to handle, not me. Honking is a CONSTANT and well, anything can happen, and will.

We make it safely into Port. I have only just barely seen the surface of Port au Prince; today I went a little deeper. We went further into the city than I had ever been, and I saw new, tragic and wonderful things. These people just amaze me, the lives they live every day, always with a smile on their face. Devastation surrounding them at all times, one hit after another, Hurricane in 2006, Earthquake in 2010, and now Cholera. They are reminded every day of the loved ones they have lost and it seems the pain just keeps going.

The UN is a VERY known presence in Haiti. They are here to show face and just “scare” the people. As far as I know they have no real significant reason of being here, except to show “authority” to try and keep the peace. The UN helicopters are constantly flying around and SO loud. They drive their tanks around and walk around with their guns, looking ready to shoot anyone at any moment, and sadly they will with no qualms. FACT cholera was brought to Haiti by a member of the UN….how’s that for peace keeping.  Over 2,000 have died of Cholera….

As we drive deeper into Port, I now am seeing some of the destruction from the earthquake, a year later…

We meet Sister Gladys and Pastor Henry at Epidor for lunch. Yet another pull of exhaustion. We order and lost in translation, don’t get all the correct food. I was definitely not happy, in fact very mad at first. I have a day to get away and get some “normal” food and I can’t even get that? Then I look outside and I see the young boys, carrying around a cloth, trying to offer to wipe off cars as they are stopped in traffic, just for some money, or anything at all. And I stop myself from being angry, and realize I need to be grateful for any food at all. By this point, I’m not even hungry anymore. Just frustrated…
Frustrated with all my surroundings… Sad and broken hearted for all the people I see. It’s not like walking down the streets in America and seeing a couple of homeless people and feeling a little sad, but not sure of their misfortunes and maybe giving them a couple dollars, or maybe just walking past.
It’s like walking around, absolutely immersed in homelessness and helplessness and so overwhelmed, having Pastor Henry say, “Eat lunch at Epidor, have some ice cream and RELAX” Eating ice cream is almost torture. Eating in general is hard. What can you do…all we can do is pray. I pray for those little children starving, and it really literally hurt to have to eat that ice cream, but he was trying to treat us, and it meant so much.  Our order being messed up left us with two extra burgers, so when we left, as we were stuck in traffic, the boys came to try and wash our car, we said no as usual, but rolled down the window and handed them each a burger. Two little boys got to enjoy burgers today. Who knows if they have food or not, or parents, or a home, but I do know they got to eat something today. It’s impossible to look at everyone and try to imagine a change, but even just helping one, at least it’s something. This is life, this is Haiti…