Prayer

Pastor Henry has asked Kendall and I to pray for Haiti. To pray for this nation and pray for these people. Same time every day, morning and night for 7 days. We are not sure why he asked us, but we know there is a reason we have been asked to do this. We were just sitting at the table the other day and he randomly said, "Haiti needs two girls to pray for its country, will you do it" of course we said yes. Pastor Henry has great insight and I think he sees we are both struggling with our faith, not spending time every day and it is slowly taking a toll, mentally and physically. This country can wear you down, the things you see on a daily basis can bring you to tears all the time. It hurts your heart and your soul all the time if you let it. I know personally I need to spend more time praying to get through each day. Every night when I lay down I am so overly exhausted, I just leave no time for prayer. So with what PH has asked us, I hope we can come out stronger and can wake up each day happier.
This is carnival time in Haiti. I don't quite understand it all, but I know a lot of it invloves Voodoo and it is scary for many people around here. The biggest celebration is in Port au Prince and when asked how they would be able to pull it off this year with all the tents, this is the response...
" This will be a great opportunity to move those individuals in those tents who refuse to relocate, the Government has built temporary housing for those individuals...they are still empty, they refuse to move,  because they like it where they are right now...the tents on the Champ de Mars is not a matter of necessity anymore, but a want for the people living there...every night they are having block parties, some women and pimps have even used many of the tents as brothels for their prostitution businesses...I think it will be the perfect opportunity to use the Carnival to convince them to relocate to the temporary houses...the same way they've moved from the Stadium (Stade Sylvio Cator) because the Soccer Championship had to start..."
It is sad that this is the reality of Haiti, many people are very strong and faith, but just as many practice voodoo and are runing brothels out of tents...So as we pray for this country, I ask you all to pray aswell. Many people don't agree that these people deserve help, but I know God has sent me here for a reason, and even if i just touch the life of one of these children, that is more than enough. No matter your feelings I ask you to open your heart and prayers for this country and these people in depair.

This is Haiti

Things I REALLY miss…

-ICE
-Air-conditioning
-Electricity
-Guaranteed running water
-Sleeping without a mosquito net
-Cell phone
-The English language
-Not being stared at because I am white
-Paying for things without having to go through the hassle of bargaining
-My bed
-Internet that works
-Cold drinking water
-Television
-Washing Machine & Dryer

Things you just have to get used to in Haiti

-Running out of water quite often
-Sweating most of the time
-Taking VERY cold showers
-Being a minority
-Not understanding a word anyone is saying around you
-Random Cows, Goats and Donkeys pretty much everywhere
-Sleeping in a mosquito net
-Always smelling like bug spray
-Constant dogs barking
-Not being able to sleep in even if you have a day off
-Spider webs and spiders everywhere
-Rats in your room at night
-Eating lots of rice
-Hand washing clothes & hanging them out to dry
-People walking up the mountain carrying large buckets and such on their heads and never breaking a sweat
-Men carrying machetes
-Walking into a store and the “guard” up front has a massive gun 
The list goes on and on….TIH

Port...

--Traffic in Port

--Tents near airport

Today was my first trip to Port-au-Prince during the daytime….

When I flew into Port it was already dark so I did not get to see much of it. It was just as shocking as I figured it would be. It is almost 2 hours away from Canaan. If I thought traffic was bad in general around Haiti, Port tops it all. When you first get into the city, it is a fight to be able to turn left onto any road. You really just have to pull out in front of people, which was kind of scary being in the passenger seat. There literally were hundreds of endless tents set up alllll over the city. Everywhere you looked it was just solid tents. People set up in the port because they knew they would be closest to the aid coming in from the airport. It is a year later and really does not seem like much progress, if any. The rubble is still all over. Some of the people here told me there is at least 80% of the rubble still just laying there. Just on the outskirts of Port we passed a mass grave site. There was a huge area of land next to the mountain where they dumped hundreds of bodies after the earthquake, with tiny crosses all over. It was really sad. It seems as though these people are just content living in these tents, many don’t have any other option at this point. The tents more on the outskirts looked as though they were making them more permanent homes. It amazes me how bad off these people have it. But it is very hard to find anyone without a smile on their face. And most of their daily lives are surrounded by worship and God. I fully believe the only reason most of these people are still alive is because of God and the faith they have. There is no earthly reason why some of these starving people should be surviving, but by the grace of God.
We have a missionary visiting this week. He has traveled all over the world, and he said today in his sermon, this is by far the most spiritual place he has ever been, and the children here are something he has never seen. It really is an act of God. Being surrounded by such grateful people who have absolutely nothing, except God has been such a rewarding experience. Whether I teach these children anything, they have definitely taught me something I could have learned nowhere else. I hope to bring a piece of this love back home with me.

--Mass gravesite

--Tents

LOVE these kids!

Always Chaos

We went to a beach just across the street from Canaan, called Club Indigo. It was so much nicer than the last resort we went to. Both are great, but I liked Indigo better! So when you first drive in you stop your car in this ditch full of bleach water and there is a guy who sprays off your tires. This is something they have started because of the Cholera. When you walk into the resort you walk through more bleach water to clean off your feet. And before you go in for lunch there is a person standing at the entrance who gives you a couple of drops of hand sanitizer. It all makes sense, but was still kind of weird.
This place has a “snack bar” which has burgers, chicken nuggets, pizza, hot dogs etc. But included in the price we paid for the “day” at the beach we got the lunch buffet. There was SO much food! Probably the most I have eaten since I have been here. It was really good. It costs about 30 American dollars for the day at the beach and lunch. Plus if you want drinks or anything else you have to buy tickets. Each ticket is one American Dollar and tickets are the only way you can pay for things. So instead of being able to go to the snack bar or drink bar with your wallet to pay, you have to go to the front desk and buy tickets and you pay everywhere with tickets. Both resorts have been like this. And thinking about it now, it makes sense. Because this means all the cash is kept in one spot, so less likely to get stolen. That may not be their reasoning, who knows. This beach was a lot less rocky and much easier on my feet. There were Cabanas all over that were so nice. Literally more comfortable than my bed here at Canaan! I think most things are more comfortable than this bed…
It amazes me that we can be walking down the road, poverty surrounding us, people starving and homeless….cross the road and there is a fabulous resort. I know there are places all over the world like that; it is two completely different worlds right next to each other.
So had a great relaxing day at the beach, it was great to get away from being cooped up at Canaan. Even though we were just across the street, whole other world.

Sunday was the usual church and then a much needed nap. Church here takes it out of me every time! Before dinner I decided to bake some cookies for the kids for Valentine’s Day. I can’t remember the last time I have made cookies from scratch, much less in an EXTREMELY hot kitchen, no lights and very limited ingredients. But I got a recipe from dear Martha Stewart and did the best I could. Seriously the best cookies EVER! I was quite proud of myself. I don’t think I will be doing it again anytime soon though. I don’t know how our AMAZING cook stays in that room every day all day. I was eaten alive my mosquitoes and sweating to death. No thank you…

Monday, Valentine’s Day
I made valentines for all the girls in my class and put them at their desks before school and they loved them. Most of them have them hanging on their walls of the desk. I got so many cute letters back from the girls as well. It was really sweet!
That evening Kendall and I walked down to get some Cokes before dinner. We brought what we thought was 50 goude which would have covered two cokes, but it was 50 cents, which is a fraction of a goude, so clearly it was not enough money. However the little old man at this hut let us take the cokes and we said we would pay him the next day. So that was really sweet of him. Of course we went the next day and paid him. Thank goodness for Kendall knowing some Creole because it was a different man and she had to explain the situation. He understood her and everything worked out. I know pretty much zero Creole, so I depend on her J.

A few of the V-Day cards from the kids!

Tuesday
I went into town with Elsie and 3 of the babies to get some shots. What a mess. Elsie speaks Creole and does not really have a problem with it. However it seems that many of the Haitian nurses around here have no clue about what’s really going on. They were out of the shot the babies needed, then got Chibelson mixed up with Caleb and gave him the wrong shot; we ended up leaving still needing 3 shots for the 3 babies. Train wreck, as are most things around here, communication is NOT a strong point for anyone. So we ran into one of the doctors who runs a small orphanage just next door to Canaan. He had a four year old boy, who has polio, and this baby was SO sick. I am still not even sure if he made it. I don’t have a clue what was wrong, but such a precious baby who I had seen just a couple weeks ago and was smiling and laughing. I have yet to hear how he is today, but I pray that little baby makes it through this sickness.

The future depends on what we do in the present. - Mahatma Gandhi

lovin my hammock!

Sad Days

Where to begin, it’s been a few days…  Saturday was pretty uneventful except for dinner. Right outside of the orphanage there is a “night club” called the Stop Over, it’s also a restaurant. On the weekends we can hear them blasting their music ALL night. So we went there for dinner because we have been giving our cook Saturdays off. She literally spends ALL day every day in the kitchen cooking for us. Has breakfast ready at 7, lunch at 12 and dinner at 530. Breakfast is always either pancakes and peanut butter and bananas or eggs, skillet cooked viena sausages (so gross), REALLY good breakfast potatoes, peanut butter, bread, bananas or rice pudding, peanut butter, bread and bananas or baked oatmeal, peanut butter, bread and bananas. Lunch is always either spaghetti with bread or tuna and peanut butter or random meats and peanut butter. Dinner usually consists of almost always, fried plantains, rice, red sauce, pickleys (chopped up onions and peppers soaked in vinegar, SO good) and some sort of fried meat. Pretty much no healthy meal…and pretty sure I won’t be eating peanut butter or bananas for a LONG time after this trip. All that to say; we ate at the Stop Over on Saturday and had, meat, fried plantains, pickleys, and French fries. Oh so healthy.

So Sunday we had our normal 3 hour long church service in Creole. And then we went to visit some people who have been working with the clean water for Haiti mission. They are going back to the states for a bit to figure out what their next mission in life is. So we drove to this other mission where they were spending their last week. Kendall and I rode in the back of the truck so we could get sun and it was amazing! Besides being uncomfortable and can’t imagine all the dust I inhaled, but I needed my sun time. This place was so beautiful. It was about an hour away, but such a difference. The land was so lush. Around Montrouis most natural resources are depleted, the land is pretty bare. But where we went, Borrell, they seemed to have clean looking water and vegetation everywhere. It was a nice change of scenery. The facilities at this mission were really nice as well. They were almost finished building a dorm that could house up to 200 people, missionaries, and underneath a new cafeteria and kitchen. They run a Haitian school of around 400 kids. They have two houses for full time missionaries, the teachers and their families. They are in the process of trying to start a school for the missionaries children, there are about ten of them. I wish I had a picture of the merry go round on their play ground! The base was a circle that spins like normal, but then they had little chairs welded onto the surface. So there were four chairs which the kids could sit in and be spun. It was SO weird! But resourceful I suppose.
Nothing really eventful happened the next couple days, just school and normal life around Canaan; then yesterday happened. About an hour before dinner Kendall and I walked down the road to exchange our sprite bottles and get new ones. Their sodas come in half liter glass bottles, which they always reuse. Every place I have been has crates full of soda bottles, when the crate is filled with empty bottles they take them back to be reused. Quite resourceful, we could learn a thing or two from these people. So when you buy the first bottle its usually 25 goude, which is just over 50 cents in America. Then when you return the bottle the next soda only costs you 17 goude. So you save money and recycle. Anyways that tangent to get to my point…
So we walked down to get sprites and on the way up Kendall wanted to take me to the village just outside of Canaan. I had never seen or been into this village, but it is where most of the children that play just outside of Canaan are from. Kendall and Caroline know most of these children and have been to their house before.  So she took me to this village and I finally got to see how these people really truly live. It is bad. We stepped into this “house” a concrete room with cement floor, no more than 30 square feet, if even. There was a plastic shelf as you walked in with their dishes and silver, and random odd and ends. There were two beds, lifted off the ground. It looked like they slept on and under the beds. Then in between the beds a sheet laid out where I assume someone else slept. This room housed a mother, father and four children. One was just a baby 4 months old. They had a stack of plastic chairs. Immediately as we stepped in the house, the father stood up from his chair and got another chair and offered them to us. So we sat, as they stood. That’s how they all are. When a white person comes anywhere near they treat you with such respect and are SO nice. We couldn’t converse much because, well I speak zero Creole and Kendall just knows the basics right now. We sat and played with the baby for a bit and then said our goodbyes. It was rough finally seeing the inside of one of their homes. You can hear about it, but being there is so much different. The little boy from that house then took us to where many of the other children were. There were about 10 kids and they literally just CLING to you. I don’t know exactly what they think of us, or why they are so in love with us Blancs, but it’s very odd. I have never seen these children in my life and they just wouldn’t let go; grabbing onto your hands and arms, almost fighting to give you a hug, hanging all over you. We said hello to some of the women around. One of them quickly got her baby dressed and handed him to Kendall. Saying he was hungry. She said his mother was sick and could not breast feed him and they had no food. But there was absolutely nothing we could do. It’s hard because yes, all I wanted to do was give them money or food, but it just doesn’t work like that.  Once you give them anything then they expect it and it becomes an issue. The baby looked healthy and was actually pretty chubby. It definitely would have been different if he looked physically malnourished. But any chance they have for maybe some food or money, they will take. So these children stay clinging to us and walk all the way with us to the Canaan property line, I almost couldn’t get them to let me go. It was such an overwhelming feeling. Most of them did not have shoes; one of the boys about 5 years old was grasping onto us and was completely naked. A few girls just in their underwear and a few that were pretty much clothed. Still, describing this does no justice. It was a very sad day.

Most families live off of less than 2 US dollars a day…to feed their WHOLE family. Yes things are cheap here for me as an American, but for what little money they make, things are insanely expensive for them. They have almost completely depleted their resources here in Haiti and most everything has to be imported which means things are much more expensive. These people are farming the same way they were 400 years ago. There are not many places in the world that have not developed with the passing years. Here they have not been taught any differently and it has caused for terrible farming land and almost total deforestation. All the mountains in pictures I have taken used to be filled with trees. Now nothing is left. The only reason we have trees here at Canaan is because when they first started building, they planted the trees. I have seen pictures of when this place was first started there was not a tree in sight. Now it is so shaded, we really don’t get any sun. If you are down at the ocean and look up, you can spot Canaan, it really is the only place covered.

Tomorrow we are going to the beach; it will be good to clear my head. Things have been tense around here and the days have been hard. I hope next week can bring some joy to our lives here at Canaan.

Unexpecting

-The note one of the girls gave me after passing her test :-)

So the one girl who could not pass her math test finally passed! And since her I have worked with 3 other girls, two of them have also passed and the third, I have not even let her try again yet. This girl is 13 and can't add...she seems to be able to do simple multiplication and division, but adding and subtracting just is not clicking. For example 7-2; she writes down 7 tally marks and crosses out 2 of them. I knew she had failed her test so I gave her some example problems and watched her work them out in this manner and I was in disbelief. Kendall’s kindergarten class is working on adding right now and learning it much better than this 13 year old girl. I am not sure what to even do, but I hope that God will just let me find a way to teach this young girl. Things have been getting better with school, the kids are responding better, especially since I have watched a few of them finally pass a couple tests. Hopefully each week can have some results.

I had my first fall yesterday…I was walking on the edge of a mound of rocks and they just collapsed and I went down. Thankfully I had on a skirt down to my ankles or it would have been MUCH worse. My legs are all skinned up and I ripped a hole in my skirt. I have had a skinned knee in a LONG time and it freaking hurts BAD! I knew it was bound to happen, but still not very impressed.

Kendall has this one girl in her class, who just has a terrible attitude. She always looks angry at the world and just doesn’t listen or respond to anything. She has two older brothers, and two sisters. One of her sisters was adopted last year. She still talks about her. These children were found living on the streets, their oldest brother who is only 13, I think 11 at the time, was taking care of them all. Both of their parents are dead, and somehow by the grace of God, Sister Gladys found these children and brought them here. I can’t even imagine being so young and taking care of 4 kids, one a baby at the time. The baby girl was adopted when she was one years old and you can tell it is just hard for them all. Of course the baby is going to get adopted and the older ones will be here for life. It really is hard to see this girl and the way she just rebels. She has some serious hurt in her heart. I pray this girl can work things out and learn to love her life and the people around her. I think she is maybe 6 or 7 and has just had a terrible life so far.

Kendall went down to read the younger girls a book before bed last night, so I went along. I sat and watched about 20 girls, from 5 to 13 years old; get ready for bed last night. I haven’t really seen their living accommodations, but last night I got my fill. They live better than most in the country, but I didn’t realize how little they really have. First of all the mattresses here, even the one I sleep on, is about two inches thick and TERRIBLE. Then I saw that not a single girl has a pillow! I guess I just assumed they would? They have no pillows; a few don’t have sheets on their bed. They just sleep on the straight mattress. They have a couple showers and a toilet, but Kendall said they use the restroom outside and shower with buckets outside most of the time, I am really not sure why? They put a bucket of water under a couple beds and that is where they use the restroom in the middle of the night. It was very odd to see all this. In my head I just had a vision of how they lived and I was way off. However they don’t seem to mind, this is just the way they live and it is accepted. Still yet another shock to me…

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better.  It's not.  ~Dr. Seuss

Long Days...

Wednesday:

Things have been pretty rough around here today. If you ever thought politics in America were bad…nothing compares.  Their elections have pretty much been ongoing for about a year now. They were scheduled last February but because of the earthquake postponed until November. I don’t know all the detail I have read up on some of it.

                “Due to the January 2010 earthquake, election was originally been indefinitely postponed;^[6] although November 28 was then decided as the date to hold the Presidential and legislative elections. Following the earthquake, there were concerns of instability in the country, and the election came amid international pressure over instability in the country.^[7] The election was termed in the media as a "seismic" one. This would be the third democratic election in Haitian history.”

On Tuesday, the United Nations peacekeeping mission in Haiti warned employees that the security situation could deteriorate Wednesday and they should make preparations.

So they announced that the first round results would be today. No one knew at what time, but just sometime today. So we have pretty much been on lock down around here. I mean nothing is bad in the town we are in, but we definitely cannot travel ANYWHERE. Not for a while! A couple of us were supposed to go to the chiropractor this afternoon , which at that time no results had been announced. But Pastor Henry said if we went we should be prepared to maybe have to spend the night there. No thank you!!! I received an email from the travel embassy that I signed up for when I came over here saying how unsafe it was to travel today and throughout the coming week. All the banks and most businesses closed early today so they could go home and be safe. There has been rioting in the town of Port and a few other cities. We are lucky to live in the country and there is really nothing near us. It just means we can’t travel anywhere. The airlines even shut down.

Thursday:

The voting results came down to three candidates. There were a lot of issues deciding whether it would come down to three or two. They announced the three, and spent all night making the decision, which was announced this morning, that only two would be in the final running. It’s really a lot of randomness. I am not sure what “rules” or “laws” they are following, if any. But apparently the two candidates left make the majority of the people happy. So last I heard the rioting has not been so bad. I believe businesses opened back up and things are sort of settled. Then Monday another issue hits. The current president was scheduled to step down Feb. 7^th. However the second round of voting will not be done until March 20^th and those results are not scheduled to come out until April 16^th. So they still have a long way to go before another president is appointed.  The “laws” that I have heard are, the current president can stay up to 3 months longer because his inauguration took longer than expected in 2006, (not sure of that full story). However if he steps down on Monday, the next highest ranking person in office would take his place for no less than 45 days and no more than 96, something ridiculous like that. Everyone’s guess is that the current President will stay; which is going to make a whole lot of people unhappy. Apparently they hate him so much that when he does finally step down, he will have to leave the country or probably be killed.

On top of the current president and trying to get a new one, we have “Baby Doc” who was President in the 80s and was exiled out of the country. He decided to come back on January 16^th, which caused riots and chaos. He was arrested the following day, facing possible charges for embezzlement. On January 18^th he was charged with corruption and will be held before a judge in Port-au-Prince for trial. So amongst his return there is also another former hated president trying to get in the country. It just goes on and on. Just so thankful I am nowhere near Port. We are settled in quite Canaan.

Well besides all this political drama, I got to see new things yesterday.   We went for a walk through a local village. I have driven past a lot of the homes and people, but never walked past to really see how they live. First of all they rarely EVER see white people and just stare you down. It’s very awkward… They yell BLANC, BLANC, which means white. Everyone is very nice and all say hello. It is really hard to communicate when you don’t speak their language. I wish I could send mental pictures…but it still wouldn’t sink in, it’s not the same as being here. Most of the people were barefoot, not many clothes, bathing in buckets, a trail of about 12 people were walking down the mountain to get water. One boy came charging down the road on a donkey, which was pretty hilarious. We walked past where they have market. It really is like a farmers market in the states, just a lot more sketch… There was this beautiful mural for a Kindergarten class, and then I looked inside. It was a stone wall and a door, through the door was the classroom. It all outdoors, small benches and a roof made of branches from palm trees, sort of hut-like. Not what I expected to see behind the beautiful painting. But that is how they are down here. The streets are so colorful with signs and paintings. The inside is the sad part. We walked through this village and it took us to the main street of Montrouis, from there we could walk back up to Canaan. On our way we stopped at another Orphanage just down the road. There were a lot more babies and most of them were very sick. One boy had cerebral palsy, he was four and SO tiny. Another boy had swelling in his brain, his head was sooo huge. We are lucky to have been able to save most of the children that come through Canaan and have the funding to make sure they are taken care of. I am not very familiar with this other orphanage, but I know it is run by a doctor so I assume they are pretty well taken care of as well. That’s probably why they have worse case children than us. So on our walk back up the hill to Canaan, we met with the regular children that hang out just outside of our land. The one’s who don’t have shoes and barely have clothes. We talked with them for a while, thankfully Kendall knows some Creole. On our way up Elise was driving through, so we got in the back of the truck. The kids asked if they could ride along. I REALLY wish at this point I had a camera. There were about 5 little boys and they all hopped in the back of the truck. We drove them up the hill just where our property starts, it was maybe a 30 second ride, but the faces of those children were PRICELESS. The happiest I have seen a kid! A 30 second ride in the back of a pick-up truck made their day! It was a good ending for me to yet another shocking day…

Joy can be real only if people look upon their life as a service, and have a definite object in life outside themselves and their personal happiness.

- Leo Tolstoy

Hopeful

The older kids are back to school this week. After a week off their brains seem to have shut down lol. We were pretty much all the same in school though so I understand. It is good to finally have them back! One of the girls doesn’t even know how many times she has taken this one math test; she has failed it so many times. So I gave her a couple practice tests and I am hoping she will pass tomorrow! I am hoping some how my efforts will pay off. I sit in a little room where they all come and ask for help…it has been a little overwhelming these past two days, because they are all so behind and all need help. I have 8 kids at a time needing separate attention. That has been a struggle. I sent a few back to class and told them I would come get them….but since I still don’t have all the names and faces memorized that didn’t work out too well!
We have one of the few Mamba clinics in the area. It is a program to feed malnourished children. It costs 90$ to sponsor one child. They feed them a peanut butter like substance that has all the nutrients they need. One of the girls is here for a year helping with Mamba. Every Tuesday people bring their children to the clinic. They weigh them and measure them and according to a chart see if they are eligible for the program. Some kids are malnourished but not bad enough to fit into the program and have to be turned away. It costs them nothing to get the food. They come every Tuesday for regular weigh-ins to see the progress of the child. Today they had a one year old who weighed 8 pounds….I have yet to see pictures, but I cannot even imagine! It takes a lot to sit down in that clinic every Tuesday and be brought these tiny babies. Some that will never make it through. Caroline does an amazing job being so heartfelt to all the children and parents. It’s not easy seeing it and it’s not easy to have to turn some of them away. They are hoping to be able to open another clinic about an hour away and run it on Wednesdays.
The one day I did spend some time in the Mamaba clinic, I also got to see the actual Clinic for sick people in general. It shocked me…You walk in and there is a tiny room with a curtain dividing it in half; a cot in each half. So a room just big enough for two cots and a divider, and that is where they see all the patients. Then the next room over is the pharmacy. Just shelves of medications in absolutely no order, just piled up everywhere. How they find things I have no clue! They are working on building a new clinic that they have set to open April 4^th. It has five different rooms and is MUCH bigger. Recently a clinic has opened up on the mountain as well, but before people would walk up to SIX hours to come to this clinic at Canaan. Imagine being sick and having to walk 6 hours?! I went down to the clinic around 8 am and there were at least 30-40 people in line. One doctor, two rooms and a line full of people ALL day; a serious tough job. Please pray that we can get this new clinic up and running! There are so many projects here that just never seem to get finished. Either they run out of money, or don’t have enough people. It was a huge step for them to set a date for opening, so hopefully they can make it happen! Also pray for this little one year old child...he has a LONG way to go!

Until the day when God shall deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is summed up in these two words,--'Wait and hope'.